A Letter To My Firstborn Child

To my firstborn child, 

A lot of things will be changing soon. You are getting a little sibling and we will become a family of four! Everything you have known your entire life is going to be different. I wish I knew what to expect so I could better prepare you, but I’m as much in the dark as you are. This new baby has come with a flood of conflicting emotions, mostly happy, but I can’t help but be worried about what you will be experiencing in a few short months. 

Right now, you may notice the subtle changes that are happening: the room on my lap is slowly growing smaller as you try to snuggle close as we read our favorite story or that I’m not as quick to chase after you as we play. I notice these changes too and I’m trying to etch each little moment into my memory. How your head feels resting just under my chin and you peek up at me with a grin or sneak in a kiss. How you grab my finger and muster all of your strength to pull me onward to the next wonder you’ve discovered. 

I know you notice these changes when you point to my growing belly saying, “Baby!” and offer up a piece of your string cheese. Or when you grab the latest ultrasound photos hanging from the fridge and hug them tight, giving the black and white images a kiss. These small gestures make my heart swell with love and my already crazy emotions kick into overdrive. This is when I know we’ll be okay. Probably more than okay. So I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen when we bring home this little bundle of joy, but here’s what I do know:

Your parents love you. We love you so much. You are the one who made us parents and gave us the title of “Mommy” and “Daddy”, the greatest roles of our lifetimes. Nobody can take that away from you. You taught us what love really means. For that, we are forever grateful. 

You have a new lifelong best friend and ally. Yes, I know that this will not be apparent at times, but your sibling will be your best friend for life. They will be your forever playmate, your comrade, and your partner in crime. And when it’s you guys against me and your dad, you have an ally to commiserate with since they know exactly what you are going through. You and your sibling will share a special bond (maybe even a secret language) and me and you father are pretty excited to watch it happen. 

And finally, you will be an amazing role model. I can see it as you take care of your beloved lovey; hugging it and even feeding it during meals. The look of concern that dims your face whenever your hear a baby cry. You are so caring and kind. Our next baby is so lucky to have you to show them the way. 

Knowing all of these things, all of my fear and anxiety of having a second baby disappear. Because when I look at you, I see that your father and I have done something right. You will always be our first child. We have been through so many firsts together, and bringing home your sibling is no different. 

So grab our fingers with your tiny hands and let’s go meet your new sibling. 

I love you,

Mommy