8 Tips for When Your Toddler Refuses to Eat
Mealtime can be a point of stress when you have a toddler who absolutely refuses to eat. When it’s time for dinner, the world’s pickiest kid appears and you can’t get them to sit still and just eat already. There is a lot of screaming, persuading, and tears (theirs and yours). If you’re like me, you initially try to avoid these mealtime battles by making chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, and corn, ANYTHING that will convince your toddler to take more than two bites. Am I right? But then you feel guilty for not providing a healthy and well-balanced meal. What are you to do?
This blog post will provide tips on how to end those mealtime battles and enjoy meals as a family again.
Note: There may be circumstances where there is an underlying cause for not eating. If you have any concerns about your child’s eating habits or health, please consult your pediatrician. This blog post is not meant to diagnose, treat, or prevent any medical illness.
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Why does picky eating in toddlers happen?
Toddlerhood is a trying time, for both the child and the parent. From the toddler’s perspective, there are a lot of things they can’t do on their own – either because of rules for their own safety or because they just physically can’t. For example, going to the potty independently is not very easy as a toddler because of the coordination needed to step up to the toilet, pull down underwear, get toilet paper, etc.
One way for your toddler to have some sense of independence and control is by saying their all-time favorite word: “NO!” They also can exert control by making the decision of what does or does not go into their mouth at mealtime.
Instead of getting frustrated at your toddler when they resist eating, take a step back and remember they are feeling so many big emotions in such a tiny little body. Keep in mind that they have not yet developed the cognitive ability to deal with such feelings and they don’t have the skills needed to express themselves.
TIPS FOR WHEN YOUR TODDLER REFUSES TO EAT
1. Even if they are picky eaters, your kid is not starving
Most likely. Again, if you have concerns that something deeper is happening than just picky eating, please see your doctor to have your child checked out. More than likely, your toddler is getting the necessary nutrients from their current diet.
I listed this as Tip #1 because knowing that our children are not starving takes the pressure off from us as parents. Once I talked with my son’s pediatrician and she reassured me that he is growing just fine and he’s meeting all of his milestones, I felt at ease. Knowing this, I approached each mealtime with a more calm mindset as I didn’t feel the pressure to force-feed Remy. I believe Remy picked up on my relaxed mood and now we are just able to enjoy our quality time together at the dining table, whether we’re eating or just talking about our days.
2. Set a Routine for Meals
The majority of people, toddlers most of all, thrive on a routine. They like to know what’s coming next and take comfort in that. Mealtimes are no exceptions. Set a routine for when and where you are going to eat and stick with it. This way, your toddler knows that the dinner table is where meals take place. Not the couch, not next to where the dog eats, and definitely not us running behind them as they play, pleading with them to take a bite. (These are all true stories, by the way ????)
Consider getting a booster seat for your toddler so they are the right height for the dinner table. This will make your toddler more comfortable and willing to sit still!
3. Eat meals as a family
Part of the routine aspect is to eat meals as a family. Similar to baby led weaning, toddlers learn best by example. If the whole family is at the table, enjoying their food, trying new things, and having great conversation, your little one doesn’t want to miss out on all the fun! (FOMO is multiplied at this stage.) Having quality time while eating together reinforces the social aspect of meals! On that note, keep the dining table a distraction-free zone. That means, no electronics, toys, books, etc.
4. Start with 10-15 minutes at a time
Let’s be real: no toddler can sit still anywhere for 30 minutes, much less a dinner table. Thus, you may have to reset your expectations. Set a timer for 10-15 minutes for your toddler to sit for meals. Once those 10-15 minutes are up and they say they are all done, let them get down and play. Gradually increase the time by 5 minute increments.